*hears one second of sound from a lotr movie* are you watching lord of the rings
"One day in the subway, James saw a red cat with a wound to the leg that likely resulted from a fight with another cat. It was obvious that the cat needed help. James could not pass and took the cat to the vet. With a little medical treatment and prescription drugs, the cat quickly recovered. At that point, James found it impossible to say goodbye to Street Cat Bob. Bob followed James everywhere he went. As James played the guitar on the street and Bob sat nearby, revenues increased dramatically. People found it difficult to pass when they looked at the cute kitty. James went on to write a book describing their adventures in the street which was full of life – both dramatic and comedic. In the book, James says that he could not have imagined how meeting Bob would change his life. His friendship with the cat healed him from a life that had been very hard. Most likely, if Bob could speak, he would say the same thing.”
Um, so here is a book I am going to go BUY… NOW.
HE’S WEARING SCARVES YOU GUYS
This is Chester. When I was in Afghanistan I got a care package from one of those “Adopt a Soldier” programs that lets families send care packages to service men and women who are deployed overseas. Anyway, I got this care package, and it came with the usual stuff: Baby wipes, crackers, peanut butter, the Dad threw in a pack of cigarettes, and there was some jerky. But there was also a little beanie baby gold fish and a hand written note from a 7 year old girl that said
“Dear Soldier, (I wasn’t even mad)
I hope you are doing well. I’m sorry you have to miss thanksgiving with your family. This is my friend Chester. He keeps me safe from monsters, but I think you need him more than I do. I hope he keeps you safe from the monsters you’re fighting. Take good care of him for me”.
You bet your ass that little fish was in my pocket every time I went on patrol.
we all know thats a load of shit gandalf
YOU THREW A FUCKING DWARF RAVE AT HIS HOUSE WITHOUT HIS PERMISSION.
at this point my blood is probably 4.3% pasta sauce
An owl landed in a bar
deAR SIR, HAVE YOU SEEN MY WIZARD?
WHAT IS THIS STRANGE PLACE
After high school you realize you were only friends with some people because you saw them five times a week.
Post reblogged from with 21,311 notes
Reblog if your summer didn’t go anywhere near as planned
You would think that teenagers would be the rudest customers when really it’s mostly old, middle-aged people.
The elderly are either adorable or the wrinkly reincarnation of Satan there is no in between
laying on the grass sounds so nice until you realize there are bugs and dirt everywhere
This time last year I was unemployed, broke, and suicidal.
Today, I just got the keys to my first house.
Give it time.every time I see this, I reblog it.
*adopts 420 children* haha raise it
don’t you mean blaze it?
NO YOU DON’T BLAZE 420 CHILDREN THAT’S WRONG
Last week, I may have gone too far. I’ll explain it quickly. Basically, I found out where he gets his clothes dry-cleaned. Custom ordered the same suit, made with tear-away velcro. And… you can fill in the rest.
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